every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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