Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
