How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
