are you so shy because you have an std?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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