That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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