you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
