pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just had sex on a roof
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
