nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
