dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My vagina is officially offended.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
