I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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