I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
