Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
