No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
