I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
