Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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