You made me cry and you don't even care
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
