So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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