you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize