just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
