she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
