Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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