Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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