In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
