No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
