return my video game
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
my shit smells like andre
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
