I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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