Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
