How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
