I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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