we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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