So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
