This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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