areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
