found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
