he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
