and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
we're so committed to being not committed
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
