Do you still have your period?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
