I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
