We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize