My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
