he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
