dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
