oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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