I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
