News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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