Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
