I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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