all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
