its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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