I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
