I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
