Porn is love you can see.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
