Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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