That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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