Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
