Have you finally orgasmed yet?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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