Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
