words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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