12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
